After a long arse drilling week, Raju decided to have a very hatke weekend. The awesome idea was to have a picnic at the nearby Central Park. Central Park was famous for its lush green grass, some varieties of flowers, which Raju was not sure about, and, the all ladies yoga camp on weekends. Though there was no dearth of girls in his night life, he just thought of turning one of them into reality. At least he stood a chance of doing so at the camp even if his friend, Mr. Fat might not be helping much. So the plan was to prepare some lip smacking food, take a bedsheet or two and camp his own camp near the yoga camp and enjoy the beautiful view and simultaneously try his luck.
So all set, Raju woke up at 5 am on Saturday, 2 hours had been spared for preparing the food. Good things do not always have a good beginning. Just when he had applied the new Lux soap (SRK’s suggestion), all over his flawless bumpy body, the tap started playing percussion to a sad song which ended in a few seconds. Thank god, there was some water in the mug, every drop of which was used ever so efficiently, Raju just managed to recognize his own skin’s color. After this crisp and to the point bath, he moved to the kitchen. As there was no water, milk was thought of as the closest replacement, so from cream of chicken to cream of tomato to cream of carrots to cream of karela, everything was packed in separate containers so that their individual aromas are maintained. Then was the time to get the tent ingredients packed. He realized the bedsheets which were to be used were with the laundry guy who had lost his loving cow yesterday and had gone to his village to do all the required rituals. The bedsheet which he used to sleep upon had not been washed for the past six months, a probable bad impression on the yoga camp participants. He saw the Intel Inside logo on his t shirt and started using the 386 processor in his head. Curtains..a brilliant idea. He removed the dashing red curtains from all the windows and packed them in the jumbo sized dustbin which had been exhaustively cleaned yesterday, all set to rock.
Raju locked the house, just managed to get everything out and called an autorickshaw. Though the park was hardly 500 metres away, there was no way he could carry everything on his fragile n smooth back. The autowala asked for a green Gandhi note. Raju tried to retort that its not Central Jail he intends to but the Central Park whose gate was also visible from his house. After a thirty minute bargaining tug of war, the deal was settled at 95. The dustbin was mounted on the top of the auto and everything else settled in the plush interiors.
Dr. Sun started to show up. He had a habit of meeting people everyday just to confirm to them that all is not well and one needs to look around. Raju never liked the Doc and he was sure that he was the only reason people fell ill all the time, if the doc is not around, people will never realize that something is wrong and life would go on. But the showdown was inevitable.
Things were unloaded. The autowala had no change so the Raju still had to do away with the only Gandhi in his pocket.
Just as Raju was about to enter the Park with all his belongings, the guard came whistling, running out of nowhere. He looked deadly with the biggest moustache Raju had seen in his life and a tummy which can cook a biryani for 20 people if used as a utensil. Raju had no option but to be terrified with the horrorifying look the guard threw on him. But when the guard started speaking, Raju could only smile. His voice was not a voice but a squeak. It was so unguard like. When Raju enquired what was wrong, he wanted to kill the mouse. The Park was closed for the day for any visitors as the wife of Mr. Chief Minister were to attend the All Ladies Yoga Camp and would remain so every alternate weekend.
Raju put everything on his back and started walking back. Dr. Sun was blazing red hot now and Raju knew he had a long appointment.
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